Thursday, December 9, 2010

Men finding relief in their retreat

When men feel stressful, what they do is to make a retreat for his mind to focus upon their most difficult problems.
While focusing on how to solve their problems, they temporary lose awareness of everything that surround them even responsibilities fade into the background.
Especially at home they tend to become forgetful, make distant from family, unresponsive because they are too preoccupied and focused on their difficult – to – solve - problems.
At such stress gripped period, they may even be incapable to pay their normal attention to their wives and neglect husbandry duties because he is powerless to release the problems.
Men need a transition with only 5% left and 95% of their mind stuck with finding solutions.
Therefore they will try to create some activities like watching world news or hoping their favorite sport team can win the game. 
This process may help to sway their problems away temporary until solutions are found that will release the stressful grip.
Once released from tension and stress, it will become normal and back to their same old self to focus on family matters.
So, once again, men always find their own ways to release their stress rather than discussing with others to ask for solutions.
But do not forget, women who were neglected, ignored, no communication, no laughter, no normal lovely gestures and inattentive at home, how would they react?
Obviously, it will be difficult to accept such behaviors, but they are not to blamed because it were not make known to them how serious is the problem.
If the male will to express, discuss and talk about all their problems, the female can be more compassionate.
By the face expression, they know that men are having some kind of problems.
But without any idea about the problem women can mistakenly feel that their man is not caring or loving them anymore.
And they will feel that men are not open enough to talk about problems which they always do when encountering with problems.
This hurt the women’s feelings and they will start to resent and resist harshly demand their rights with the uncaring and inattentive men.
On the other side, how can female expect their problem riddled male to be instantly responsive and be lovingly?
It is just alike, will it being unrealistic to expect upset women to remain calm, be rational, be logical and come to their sense?
Well, at such situations, this can really stir and spark up troubles once men start to defend their behaviors.
Now, if women can correctly understand the reaction, this is men’s coping stress mechanism.
Instead keep counting on behaviors and by co-operating and resisting women will get what they expect.
Similarly, what if men can realize their behaviors and reactions while suffering stress which can affect their relationship?
They should practice compassion and narrate their present difficulties to release further tensions.
Male must remember ignoring the female invite troubles to cause frictions.
Because women will take it personally although coping stress in retreat is helpful but will not help her to alleviate the pain.
It is important for men to validate women’s feelings and needs to understand’ about her right.
She has the right to mention about feelings of being ignored and unresponsive just as men has their own right to retreat without talking.

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