Most female feel scary to set their limits, in asking or wanting to receive because commonly they are afraid of asking too much, then rejected, judged or abandoned.
Due to the incorrect beliefs in her unconsciousness that she is not worthy of receiving more or better, female will feel painful when the male reject, abandon or judge their request.
Why this beliefs?
Actually it was formed and reinforced during the upbringing/childhood every time she had to suppress her feelings, wishes and requirements.
Female is in particularly vulnerable in the incorrect and negative belief that she does not deserve to be loved and pamper.
Especially during childhood when female had been abused or witness abuse whether directly or indirectly it will affect her, then she is even more vulnerable to unworthiness and could not determine her worth.
This incorrect views or beliefs being hidden in the unconsciousness mind of unworthiness generate their fears of needing male companions which is also part of her imagination of being not supported.
In due to the female thinking and belief of not being supported they waived away given supports that were required.
So this is where the problems begins, when man receive her message that she does not trust him to fulfill her needs, man immediately feel rejected and obviously will turn off his willingness to give.
Woman’s hopelessness and mistrust transform her valid requirement into desperate expressions of neediness, which at the same time indirectly inform her man that she does not trust him to support her.
But, most men are actually primarily motivated that he is needed to fulfill her requirement start to turn off the support sources.
On the other hand, women tend to mistakenly assume that man is not fulfilling her needs and as a matter of truth is her own fault who create such situations.
Another important factor is women must recognize that men need to be trusted and understand the differences between needing and neediness.
“Needing” means that women should openly reach out asking for support from men with full trust and confidence that he will fulfill her quest and requirements.
This action empowers men to do their best in providing women’s wish.
“Neediness” means women desperately wants support but yet does not trust men will fulfill her requirements, obviously this action will push men, and make them feel rejected plus unappreciated,
Most women will find not needing others is confusing but being disappointed or abandoned is especially painful even the matter is a small deal or happening.
For the female is not easy or use to depend on others and afterwards being ignored, forgotten or dismissed when forwarding her request.
Women feel needing others to fulfill her requirements will be painful especially the matter is being ignored or turn down really disappoint her and hurt more because it affirm the incorrect belief that she is unworthy to receive.
Female had for centuries compensated for this fundamental fear of unworthiness which is by being attentive and responsive to the needs of their companions.
She will keep giving and giving and still deep inside her mind is the thought of being worthy of receiving.
What they hope is that by giving more to others will make them become more worthy instead.
Now, women are different, after seeing their mother for centuries had been giving and giving without any results from their father finally realized that actually they are worthy of receiving love and support.
Thus this process of changes of just giving to others for the wisdom of self-esteemed.
While through the actions of giving others, women came to realized that everybody deserved to receive support and to be loved by their male counterpart.
It is during the upbringing, if as a juvenile female and happens to watch her mother receiving from father obviously she will grow up in the manner of worthy to receive.
And she can easily overcome the women compulsion of giving too much, the fear of receiving because it is identical to the motherly feeling of being worthiness to receive.
Automatically, if the mother had learned and earned this wisdom of receiving, her little girl will gradually learn the wisdom of how to receive.
For women, however did not have role models to show and provide to them the art of receiving took those thousands of years to give up their compulsive habit of just giving.
Once they observed that others are receiving as an example, women will absorb and follow the art of asking and receiving with fear.
Women should open their welcoming doors and must realize their worthiness for men to give more.
Especially after ten years of her over giving to the partner in their marriage and start to realize that she deserve to receive will harden herself to close door by not giving men another chance.
Now, she will feel something in her mind like “I have been giving too much yet you ignored me; you had your chance; I deserved better attention; you cannot be trusted; I feel too tired; there is nothing left to give; and you shall not hurt or disappoint me anymore”.
In my opinion, if such a case, women should refrain from giving anymore but instead must demand their worth to maintain the betterment of the relationship.
It should be vice-versa; men must start in realizing that they had given too little; been ignoring her needs; hurt her feelings; and most of the time disappoints her.
Men should wake up to feel that they really had received too much from female counterpart and it is time to prove to her; that I am trustful, I shall not ignore you anymore; and will fulfill your request and requirement; provide more support and love to make you happy.
It may take a while for men to make changes but at least must take the initiative step in feeling that they want to change and will not ignore her needs by giving more to create her happy feelings.
This is the path to reconcile the relationship; men need to nurse it back to betterment and for the sake of their beloved children.
Another Gossip Site