Saturday, December 4, 2010

Listening To Each Another

Truthfully speaking, if men do not understand that women are different, a lot matters can get out of hand or making it worse.
What men have to remember is women like to talk about problems to get closer relationship and not necessary seeking for solutions.
Do you know that women love to or want to share her day?
But men normally want to help his spouse often interrupt the conversation with an offer of solutions to her problems, just ignoring whether she is pleased or not at times.
Let us think, for an example;
Jane goes to work than comes home look exhausted with too much job and needs to share her feelings of the day.
She will just say, “Oh! There is too much workload and left no more time for myself”.
Than her husband, Jim exclaimed “well leave the job, if you find it so tough and seek for others that you like”.
Jane replied, “but I love this job, it is just they are expecting and pushing too much work with very short notice”.
Jim says, “Why should you accept so much work, just do what you can, and that is all”.
Jane replied, “I am just doing that, ah I even forget to call my sick cousin and she is expecting me”.
Jim says, “Well! Do not worry too much; she will understand you are working”.
Jane replied, “Not to worry, that is what you say, do you know that she is sick and she needs me”.
Jim says, “It is just because you worry too much and makes you unhappy all the time”.
Jane relied, “I am not unhappy. Why are you not listening to what I say?”
Jim says, “Who say I am not listening?”
So after this conversation between this couples, Jane become more frustrate actually she is seeking intimacy and companionship.
Jim, also felt uneasy and frustrated too but had no idea actually what went wrong because his is trying to offer the problem solving tactics that did not work out well.
So, it was Jim who did not understand about Jane’s feelings and try to offer unsolicited solutions without listening which make the situation goes wrong.
But women is just the opposite, they will not offer solutions while someone is talking instead will honor to listen patiently with empathy which is to truly looking to understand the other’s feelings.
Now, what if Jim listen with empathy to allow Jane express her feelings that of course, will bring forth tremendous relief and will not hurt both party’s feelings.
The situation will be like this;
Jane comes home exhausted and tired and would say, Oh! “There is so much for me to do at the office and have no extra time left”.
Jim looking relaxes and says, well! “Sounds like you are having a tough day”.
Jane relied, ‘they expect me to finish everything within a short notice and I do not know what to do”.
Jim says, “Oh, no they should not push you too much”.
Jane replied, “I even forget to call my cousin who is sick”.
Jim says, “So sorry to hear that”.
Jane replied, ‘she really needs me now, and I feel so bad about it”.
Jim hearing this move forward and give Jane a kiss and says, “You are such a caring and lovely person”.
Then, Jane feel relax in Jim’s cuddle and says, “I love talking to you because you listen to my problems and thanks, I really feel better now”.
In such conversation both party will feel better and Jim was amazed to see the result of listening first without giving any solutions or remark.
With the awareness of their differences, Jane also realized and learned the lesson of letting it go with acceptance and not to offer unsolicited advice or heavy constructive criticism anymore.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Kindly commence on my blog to enable improvement. many thanks for your kind consideration ans appreciation.